When you first meet someone and experience the dizzy heights of love, the last thing that you might be thinking of is that at some point you are going to be guilty of infidelity but that’s what happens to many people in often surprisingly good relationships.
If you think about it, infidelity means that you are breaking a promise to your partner assuming that you are in a loving and committed relationship of course. This means that you have promised to be sexually exclusive to your partner and that you do not wish to be intimate with anyone else so any action that you take outside of this emotional contract, makes you guilty of cheating.
So what makes you take that one step too far? What has gone wrong between you and your partner that would make you take such risks of losing them? For some people, the fear of being discovered is actually the reason, linked inextricably to the fear is a thrill of almost being caught out which is why many who cheat, enjoy sexual practices in easily discovered places. There is a certain satisfaction to sneaking around and enjoying sexual encounters with someone who is not your partner.
So what if you get caught? Well, there is the possibility that you relationship could survive from the impact of your actions but it would take a lot of hard work and commitment to reach that point where trust has been rebuilt. If you have been cheating on your partner, you are not alone in these actions. Many people cheat prior to marriage and within a marriage, cheating occurs in about 50 % of those relationships.
You might think that you are being ultra discreet but there are noticeable tell-tale signs that indicate you are up to something. Sometimes it can be a gut feeling; your partner just suspects but has no grounded proof. These feelings of suspicion though over a period of time can eat away at a relationship so sometimes , even with no proof, a relationship can start crumbling under the pressure of doubts.
Often indicators can be changes in your behaviour. As a woman you might change your hairstyle, start wearing more make-up, treat yourself to new perfumes and you go out more on your own, little excuses to nip to the shops, sudden plans to meet up with friends, finding a few minutes to text your lover. As a man, the excuse is often that you are working late; you have been invited to a guy’s only poker game, it’s a mate’s leaving do or you are being sent on a business trip or course.
If you have been with someone for some time, do you honestly think that they won’t notice actions that were previously out of character? Especially if you have always been content to be the stay at home type and now you hardly want to stay at home at all.
You have to consider why you are prepared to risk it all if you are already cheating? What is it about your relationship that has gone wrong? Is it just because the romance has faded or that the sexual attraction has started to waiver? Sadly, romance and chemistry often do fade after a period of time but it should deepen into something much more long lasting. Your love for each other should still be apparent even if your priorities are not about simply ripping the clothes off each other these days. Does your partner make you feel special and loved? Without feeling appreciated and loved, you will be vulnerable and susceptible to affairs, because someone else will start making you feel appreciated and will pay you the attention that you seek.
The best thing that you can do is to talk to your partner before you start taking steps towards infidelity because if you get caught out, there may be no way to heal your partnership once the damage has been done.