There is nothing like having that awful nagging feeling that your beloved partner might be sneaking out to meet another woman. The suspicion and the doubts churn you up inside and you feel totally insecure in your relationship. Worse, you feel betrayed. How could he do that to you, why would he do that to you? But is he actually having an affair? Or is there some other reason that is making him keep those erratic hours?
It’s a tough question to answer unless you actually catch him at it, or blurt out your fears when you have drunk that bottle of wine dry in your misery and impatience for him to come home. The chances are if he is sneaking around in a bid to meet someone new, he isn’t going to want to volunteer information in your direction and if you have no evidence that he has someone new, then it’s going to be difficult to prove.
There are tell tale signs however and if you start thinking intuitively instead of emotionally, it will be easier to spot those signs. If he is having a sexual encounter, then you will see less evidence apart from the occasional feeling of guilt. But if his affair is emotional, there will be more evident changes of his behaviour towards you. Think over the last few weeks, has his behaviour changed substantially? Does he want to spend a lot less time with you than before? Similarly, his patience with you may have suddenly seemed to run out, if he starts snapping at you for doing silly things in the house or for asking to spend more time with him, he may well be developing emotional feelings for another and feeling the heavy weight of guilt on his shoulders.
Has he suddenly started spending more money but not on you? If you start finding receipts for hotel rooms or for expensive gifts and you know that you weren’t the one on the receiving end of those luxuries, then it’s time to bring his spending behaviour at the very least to the fore. Similarly, you might find that he suddenly becomes very precious about his mobile phone, sneaking off to respond to text messages and deleting every message whereas previously, his phone was filled with messages from friends and family and you used to nag at him to delete everything.
The problem with a cheating partner is that their very actions make you very suspicious and almost paranoid as you watch every little action imaging the worse, in fact a cheating partner is often very quick to point the finger at you, and quoting paranoia and making you feel very insecure as a result. There can be a lot of reasons for character changes of course and not all of the reasons involve your partner running around playing the field so do take possible work pressures into the mix before accusing.
If your man suddenly starts meeting up with his friends more but his behaviour towards you remains the same, don’t panic immediately. It can actually be a sign of a healthy relationship and it’s good for both of you to spend time with other people. However, if your man suddenly starts going out with his friends all of the time and you suddenly see very little of him, as he returns home very late or if at all, then it’s time to speak up and find out what is going on.
If you are worried and don’t know what to do to resolve this suspicious divide between you then the best course of action is to not simply accuse but to sit down and ask the question however hard it might be to hear the truth. If you have real reason to suspect that he is definitely having an affair and you feel that there can be no possible other explanation, then it’s best to know one way or another. Of course it’s hard to hear that yes, he has been sneaking around to see another woman but sometimes it’s a relief to know for sure, because, at least this way, you can make a decision whether to move on or possibly to stay and work on improving your relationship. .