Is Love Well and Truly Over?

There’s no pain like the heartache of a lost love especially if you have been together for some time and have formed bonds that go far beyond the physical and your emotions have been inextricably linked for some time. Depending on how your big break-up occurred – a silly row where you both said things you didn’t mean, you may have found yourself watching for his
distinctive knock on the door or listening for every phone call and hoping against hope that he will ring you once he has calmed down.

You might have even entertained the idea of trying to get him back. Maybe eat a little bit of humble pie or admit that maybe, just maybe you were wrong? It’s hard to accept a break up especially if it occurred during a hot headed row. Sometimes silly things spark up the fieriest of rows which lead to big walk-outs but if you both still love each other, you may be wondering if there is still hope?

It’s hard to view things from a logical stance when your heart is bruised but if you can take a step back from all of the emotions; it may help to give you an important sense of clarity and to identify any tell-tale signs that there is still hope.

First of all, do you still have a lot of your ex’s belongings stored at your places? If yes, this is a classic sign that there is still some hope that you can patch things up because it would have been easy for him to collect his belongings and even if he didn’t want to see you, he could have sent someone else around. It’s a sign of attachment and still needing to keep the bonds alive. He may be hoping that by leaving his things where they are, it will stop you from emotionally moving on. This might be a subconscious thought of course, but it could well exist.

Does your ex still communicate with you? If you are receiving texts or phone calls from him it means that he still wants to hear from you. Of course, if he is ringing up to simply continue the row, then draw a line through this one, but often, keeping the communication airwaves open mean that there is still some deep feelings.. Depending on the row and how you are feeling afterwards, sometimes it’s worth cutting off the communication for a while to allow yourself to simmer and to analyse how you really feel. If it’s just one of a long, long line of rows, then you do need to think about whether it is worth papering over the cracks- again.

Another sign that he still cares, ironically is if he starts parading all over town with the latest girlfriend draped on to his arm. Now this might not seem as if he is trying to win you over but there is a certain sense to his making you jealous. It’s a difficult situation because the last thing you will want to do is to remain calm but it will at least give you the opportunity of analyzing your feelings properly. How did it make you feel to see him with someone else? If the answer was very little or a sense of relief that it’s all over, then you know that it’s truly time to move on. Don’t dwell on it, accept it and see it as a new starting point in your life and that it gives you the opportunity to meet someone new.

Whatever happens going forward, at some point you will need to ensure that you tidy up the situation either by sitting and discussing what went wrong and deliberating how to avoid the situation again, or by tidying up the emotional clutter and getting him to come and get his things. For as long as you leave his things around the house, it’s like having one foot always in the
door and to enable you to have complete closure, be brave and draw a line under your relationship. As much as it might hurt, it will be worth it in the end.

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