Moving On? Deal with the Past First

There is no escaping the pain of a broken heart after a relationship ends and even if you know that the break-up is the right solution, it won’t stop you from feeling lost, lonely and experiencing regrets. It’s important that you face your emotions however and grow from the experience if you wish to move on to bigger and better things.

It’s a cruel twist to the ending of a long relationship that there has to be so much emotional turmoil especially when once upon a time, your relationship seemed water tight and no evidence of cracks in sight. The emotions you might expect to feel are disappointment, grief and the stress of starting over.

Being single is a scary time. You might find that you are in uncharted territory. Everything seems alien and nothing is sacred anymore. The road ahead seems uncertain. You have practical issues to consider possibly selling your home and finding a new place to live. If you have children, you have responsibilities for their well-being and you may even have thoughts about whether you will ever meet someone and be able to love and trust them again.

You have to understand that it’s ok to have this multitude of feelings. Your emotions might sweep through a wide range – from anger, sadness, frustration and pain. These emotions will gradually ease in time once you have taken your first tentative steps into the unknown.

It’s important to remember that you are not superwoman either. You may not be as productive as you would usually be and that’s because you are dealing with the loss of your relationship. You need time to heal. Talking to others is important however. Being able to share your hurt with others, friends and family etc is essential during this time. A problem shared after all, is a problem halved.

Every break up is understandably different but your feelings and the depth of them will echo the sentiments of women the world over. Don’t fight your feelings though because suppressing them will only make the healing process more drawn out. Remember that you still have a future ahead of you and that in time you will come to embrace that but you have the stepping stones towards your new future to still clamber over. If you can avoid being in touch with your ex partner, so much the better. This may be difficult if you have children but it’s a good idea to have a complete break and some breathing space before encountering him again. This will give you time to settle into your new single status a little more.

Don’t expect your emotions to be settled immediately. Once you have taken care of all of the practical aspects of your old relationship, then you can contemplate how to not simply cope with your new situation but to turn it into a positive. Adopting a positive attitude will make the process much easier.

Take time out from the dating scene for a while even if your ex seems to have moved on and has found someone else. Remember that it’s not a competition and you don’t have to do anything that you are not ready to. Ideally, you need to immerse yourself in your new life and find a sense of stability and inner happiness before you encounter a new romance because otherwise, you will find that your old romance and your new one will still be inextricably linked in your emotions and you will struggle to let go of past issues.

It’s always important to establish what went wrong and to identify how you could have made things different if at all possible, this analysis will help you to effectively deal with the hurt and grief and to close the door on the past. In time, your broken relationship will become the instigator of a positive time to come, but you can’t cheat the healing process or avoid it because you need to be whole again if you want to enter into a healthy and loving relationship in the future.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>