Are you ? Has your love-life just fallen apart recently? If you are suffering from the pain of a lost love, then you may be experiencing the urge to try somehow to get your ex back because you feel as if you can’t bear to be without him.
Don’t worry, it’s natural to feel this way if you were not aware that the relationship was going to come to a close or if it finished before you were emotionally ready. The pain can be incredibly tense. The old adage’ time heals’ is very true however. Time and distance does enable you to see that there were flaws in the relationship or to realise that he wasn’t the one for you after all. When you first experience this loss, many people will tell you that you had a lucky escape or that he wasn’t good enough for you. Or they will tell you that there are plenty more fish in the sea. But none of these comments are likely to help you to feel better in the short term.
The only way for you to get a handle on your grief is to realise just why it is pointless to pine over a love that wasn’t reciprocated. It may take a lot of soul searching before you can get to this point but if you are truly honest with yourself and you are able to distance yourself a little from any raw emotion, you may get a glimpse of clarity. If he has left you for someone else, or has just decided that the relationship wasn’t working from his perspective, it may feel like a mortal wound. Rejection can cut deep and you will not be able to acknowledge at this point if he was right and that the relationship was doomed, because your feelings are too deep.
The problem with facing a future without the man that you love is that you feel powerless, empty and vulnerable. It may feel as if the rug has been pulled from under your feet and that what you thought of as a solid, loving relationship has very quickly dissipated leaving you with a sense of betrayal. Sometimes there are no set reasons just a reality check that unfortunately highlighted insufficient feelings from your ex that showed him, he wasn’t prepared to invest any more time into the relationship.
Taking control of your life will help. It’s no point pining away listening to the soppiest music or shutting yourself away for days, this won’t help you to fight back and regain control of your life. Face up to it. If he has told you straight that it is over, then accept it. It may be hard but it’s important you retain your pride. As hard a fact as it is, you might have to accept that he never really loved you. Some relationships are built on dreams. For some people, they just need to feel loved and enter into a relationship for the wrong reason and then, it can crumble very quickly. Love has to be reciprocated and if you loved him more than he loved you, then you are better off out of the relationship. A loveless romance is a cruel one- for both concerned.
You may feel angry, you may even feel that you hate him but you need to realise that maybe this love wasn’t as perfect as you hoped. If you are honest, were you happy with everything that he did or said? Did you feel special? Did he make you feel like you were the most important person in the world? If not, why not?
Every woman deserves to have a special love and to be involved with a man who truly and genuinely cares. If you hold onto the past and to the memory of someone who took your heart and stamped all over it, you may never find that special man who would care for you completely.
You have to accept that your lives have gone in different directions and that it is better that they do so now rather than later. It might be hard to face up to this fact, but you owe it to yourself to do just that.