You might be head over heels in love with your partner but do you honestly think, hand on heart that it is a loving and healthy relationship for the both of you? If no, it’s time to take a cold, hard look at the reality of your situation. If you have been on your own for any length of time and trawled the bars in the hopes of finding Mr. Right and failed miserably, it might be a big shock to the system to suddenly find someone who seems to tick all of the boxes. It’s also easy to cast caution to the wind and to throw yourself wholeheartedly into the relationship and to qualm any potential feelings of doubt.
As much as over-analysing a relationship can be totally detrimental, closing your mind to any problems that start to appear is emotional suicide. There is no point brushing over the cracks and hoping to cement any relationship if things really aren’t that solid deep down.
It’s worth asking yourself whether your partner totally gets you. Does he listen to what you have to say and understand if you say that you’re not comfortable about something or that you have doubts? Does he respect your judgement? Do you feel that you and your partner are extensions of each other and that your compatibility knows no bounds?
Trust is a vital component to any healthy relationship and you both have to trust each other completely if your relationship is going to develop and grow stronger by the day. If you find yourself doubting some of the things that he says or you have started to catch him out on little discrepancies, you might wish to hold onto your heart before falling deeper into this relationship. There has to be perfect trust otherwise suspicion will start to reveal and widen any cracks.
Being in a relationship is about sharing both the good and the bad times. Hopefully, your lives together are going to be stress free and as enjoyable as possible but what if something goes wrong in your life? Do you believe whole-heartedly that he is going to come along and see you through the tough times and give you the support that you need? If you have doubts about the answer to this, then your instinct may be telling you something that you shouldn’t ignore.
In an ideal relationship, the control and decision making should be a healthy 50/50 split. Give and take is vital but if you are the one doing the most giving and have basically handed over control of the relationship to him, then you may find that this is one action you are likely to regret. A healthy relationship is about balance so don’t let your relationship turn into an ugly power struggle just so that you are able to have your say.
You both might lead busy lives but it’s important that you make time for each and to really communicate. There’s lots of talk about how men and women don’t seem to even speak the same language but if your relationship is going to be a good one, being able to speak honestly about your needs, concerns or even the good stuff is vital. Don’t ever bottle things up especially if it is because you are not sure how your partner is going to react, this should signal alarm bells because in a healthy relationship, you should be able to tell your partner anything.
Everyone knows that there are a lot of physically abusive relationships out there and yours certainly may hopefully not fall into that category but there are other types of abusive relationships which ultimately can make you feel unhappy. Emotional or verbal abuse can have a devastating effect on your self-esteem and confidence and you should never ever tolerate this kind of behaviour. Unfortunately sometimes seemingly good relationships develop into bad ones and you need to really maintain a watchful eye to ensure that this doesn’t happen to you. Sometimes the signs are subtle so learn to listen to your gut feeling and if something doesn’t feel right, then look to work it out. Hopefully, your relationship is a productive and happy one for many years to come but if not, do the wise thing, watch, analyse and leave.
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