Are you in a Toxic Relationship?

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It doesn’t matter how compatible you both are, all relationships go through a bad patch occasionally but hopefully, the relationship is strong enough to sustain these temporary glitches and any problems can be resolved fairly quickly but sometimes, a relationship takes a downward spiral and can become toxic.

You might not even realise that your relationship has turned sour and unhealthy because you are too closely connected to the situation to be able to see with clarity but your friends and family might be loudly protesting their concerns.

It’s easy to very quickly defend your relationship to others even if you do have doubts yourself about where it is going but try analysing your relationship before doing so and ask yourself if there are any grounds to their fears. Maybe you are adapting how you do things to simply please your partner? It’s natural to make some changes within a relationship as everyone has annoying habits after all and sometimes making subtle changes to accommodate the other, is a sign of love and affection. But are your changes become visibly regular to keep the peace and to ultimately keep your partner happy?

Other signs of a toxic relationship are when your partner starts to check up on you and constantly needs to know what you are doing and why. A sudden surge of control which was not previously visible should be noted because it can become much worse if left unchecked.

Increased bouts of control can often lead on to other manipulative actions and it’s only a small step towards verbal, emotional or physical abuse. This might sound way over the top if your relationship has been previously good but people do change and insecurities and doubts over a relationship can and do emerge after a period of time even if the other person i.e. you, are still as much in love.

There are many people out there who are insecure and often, this change of personality can materializes through these insecurities but once they manifest, it can be difficult to put the lid on them and they can quickly grow out of hand. Does your partner want you to be dependent on them and hate that you are fairly self-sufficient? Does your partner only tell you that you are loved after you have had an argument?

Many men and women fall foul to a toxic relationship without realising how damaging it can be. Remember that love isn’t simple. The concept of love is wonderful but add people to the mix and it immediately complicates the whole thing.

There are varying cycles to a toxic relationship and in the early stages i.e. the honeymoon period, everything will seem perfect, this is the part where your relationship becomes cemented together and life and your future together seems incredibly happy.  When little problems start to emerge and then become sorted, the third stage known as the reconciliation stage comes into play and this is where your partner feels contrite and does everything possible to make it up to you.  If you think about your own relationship, does any of this sound familiar? Are you thinking about how those little rows erupt – usually always instigated by your partner? Are you thinking about how you have started to change your own personality to fit in?  Once you recognise these little clues you will be able to detect the toxic cycle quite clearly.

Toxic people are not good to be around. It’s that simple. It may be a heart breaking revelation to know that the person you fell in love with has a more sinister side. There are many toxic relationships out there and it may seem madness as to why someone should wish to stay with a partner who is abusive and manipulative but unfortunately people do because they stick to what they know and are often afraid to break free.

Toxic relationships can very quickly become addictive and if you really do feel that your partner has these qualities, then think long and hard about what you want in life because any changes that they make by apology would simply form part of the contrite and reconciliation stage and then would start all over again.

Image:© Roxana González |

About Pamela Page

Hi, I'm Pamela and I'm so excited to talk to you about your love life. I've had some really amazing and extremely horrible luck with online dating, so I figure I'd share my experience with the world. Remember to download my Free Online Dating Guide!


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