If you are new to the online dating experience, then it may be hard to calm those first date nerves as it can be a terrifying process especially if you have been out of the dating game for a while. You might feel a lot of pressure to impress and the cold reality is that first impressions really do count, so it’s important to come across well. Online dating may seem a cold medium by comparison to traditional dating at first as you are picking out potential partners by their photos and written profiles and it’s difficult to really pick up on their true personalities but the advantages are that it provides you with the opportunity to meet many, more people in a succinctly shorter time and that’s a lot of fun.
Assuming that you have been chatting to any new friendships by email for a while, you may now feel that it’s time to take the plunge and to meet up, emails or instant messaging can be enjoyable, but sometimes it’s time to leave the safety of your virtual romance and actually get to know the living, breathing person behind those charismatic emails.
Remember that until you meet for the first time, you never really get to know someone even if they have poured out their heart and soul to you, nothing is the same as spending actual time together and simply looking into their eyes. Your first date is all about identifying chemistry, enjoying each other’s company and finding out if you are as compatible as you hoped.
It’s not surprising that first dates conjure up all sorts of nerves and you may even find yourself dreading meeting up as the date grows ever nearer especially if you are worried that meeting may ruin the fun you have had through writing emails to each other. Don’t panic though; a little forward planning can make a big difference when it comes to making a good first impression. Don’t leave getting ready until the last few minutes, indulge yourself and try to enjoy the preparation. Choose the clothes that you feel most comfortable and confident wearing and this will certainly help you to feel relaxed and to exude a quiet confidence. Rushing will only make you feel more nervous and agitated and this will only start your date off in the wrong way.
If you are naturally shy, it can be easy to try to be someone that you are not, don’t succumb to temptation. You will only appear fake to your date and this will be significantly off-putting or send out the wrong signals. It’s important to be natural, you are who you are and if your date is right for you, you will click because you are yourself. One trap to avoid is to not raise your expectations too high, this may sound a little self-defeatist but remember that you will have formed an impression of what your date is like and the reality may be very different. If you have added a recent photo to your profile then seeing you for the first time will not be a shock, just make sure that the photo of your date is a current one too, as many profiles display photos taken years previously.
Expecting, hoping or even praying that this person is the ultimate love of your life is only going to put a lot of pressure on you to wow them on that first meeting and your date is likely to feel your tension too. If you don’t approach your first date in a relaxed and yet organised way, your date is going to pick up on all of the subliminal signals that you project. The best way to make a good first impression is to simply enjoy the date on its own merits, no expectations, no pressure, just enjoy meeting the person you have been getting to know via email.
You may be a mass of nerves, but don’t forget that your date will probably be experiencing the same type of feelings as you. Try to choose a location where you feel comfortable meeting up. A strange location or a busy pub for example, may make it hard for you to feel relaxed and confident if you don’t know your way around or have to search for your date. The more relaxed you can be, the more at ease your date will feel. If you’re worried that the conversation is going to dry up why not take along some fun questions? In fact, it works really well if you both come up with five questions to ask each other. The questions can be quirky, serious or amusing but it’s a great way to break the ice and before you know it, you will both be acting naturally and enjoying each other’s company. You never know, your first date may very quickly lead onto the second and the third.
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