If you have been in and out of the dating scene for a while, you will no doubt sometimes look back and think, why on earth did I do that? Or why did I put up with that? We all make mistakes and bad choices of course and some of those mistakes can plague us for years to come.
Have you ever walked out on someone that you loved and made the decision that it was all over irrespective of how much he grovelled because he had hurt you? Have you ever let someone walk away because you felt that you couldn’t be with someone you didn’t completely trust? Sometimes we make hard but just decisions and at other times we let our fears and feelings dictate to us.
We all like to think that we make informed choices and that we learn from our mistakes. We think that the next relationship will be the one which finally works out and where life suddenly becomes good. Some lessons sadly, are a lot harder to learn than others and mistakes come in differently wrapped packages so it’s hard to see whether we are repeating the same old mistakes over and over.
One very common and unfair dating mistake is to start blaming your partner for all of the things that went wrong with your ex. Okay, maybe you indirectly blame your partner (well, he’s male) but it’s hard to let go of unresolved anger if you have deeply frustrated issues that you never got to discuss. It’s unhealthy to hold on to the past. It’s unhealthy for your current relationship for you to take out your hurt on your partner. It’s time to wise up to the past and let it go so you can move on properly.
How many times have you turned people down because they are just not quite right? Sometimes we are all guilty of holding out for that perfect man and yet, we know deep down that perfection doesn’t exist. There is no perfect love or perfect relationship. Of course you should never settle down with someone you are not besotted with but if you can find little wrong with your relationship and he ticks almost all of the boxes, then maybe you should give him a chance.
Another big mistake many people make is giving in when it suddenly becomes tough going. Of course things are going to change throughout your relationship; it’s not going to be all hearts and flowers for ever. Fact. Sometimes life gets in the way of your feelings for each other and it makes it difficult to remember the person you fell in love with for a while because he might not be acting in the same way due to external pressures. If you love each other and the foundations of your relationship are intact, then hang in there. Don’t walk away when the pressure is on.
Of course sometimes, a relationship does turn sour and it is time to say goodbye. Only you can know if this is really all over and the right course of action for you. Many make the mistake of suddenly believing that their dating future is all over and that this was their last chance to find love. Your heart might be broken or your self-esteem in tatters but don’t let this make you lose faith in who you are and what you have to offer. You will find love again.
Another common mistake to avoid is to let the communication airwaves get bunged up with resentment and anger. It’s the quickest way to kill a formerly good relationship and it’s easy to do. You might blame it on a stubborn streak or a deep conviction that you are right and your partner is wrong, but if you both stop talking then you are on a slippery slope to a failed relationship.
Little problems can sometimes turn into almighty mountains and this is primarily women who turn an annoying and often upsetting problem into something potentially damaging. It might not be deliberate but it happens. If you find yourself really nit-picking and building a mountain out of a mole-hill, stop and listen to yourself. Is it really worth wrecking your relationship over? Live and learn and make the most of your relationship-even if it is not perfect.