Some people see dating as a game. Online dating is filled with those who relish the sport and potential conquests as they trawl through the Internet dating selection looking for their next victim.
Internet dating plays right into their hands too. When you first encounter someone online, it is difficult to spot a player during simple email conversations and if someone is trying to hide this aspect of themselves, it’s harder to pick up the true signals. Of course, sometimes, a player does give themselves a way. They may test the waters and find out how far they can push you before you bite or tease you by intriguing flirtations.
Players are fun. They are good at what they do and their pattern of behaviour works because they are practised performers. Look closely and you may spot other signals, an avoidance of any deep and meaningful conversations to start with and you might start to realise sometimes that they haven’t really told you an awful lot about themselves and yet they prompt you for information at every turn. If you’re not put off and are still tempted to meet them, go out with an open mind but be careful. You need to be aware of the moves a player will make to get you to fall for their charms. You are the prize remember. You may be able to see a player in action if you remain a little aloof and just out of reach emotionally. A player loves a challenge and when you become a challenge in reality, the game is on. Some people enjoy being on the receiving end of this attention. It makes them feel good but just remember that if this sounds like you, the attention is likely to wane the moment that they feel they have ensnared you.
A player isn’t always a bad person. But it could be that they are just unable to commit romantically and the fear of connecting to someone on a deep level will be enough to make them back off.
If you start dating a player, you need to be aware of what you want to come of it. When you signed up to your Internet dating, was it to find that perfect person for you and to settle down? Did you harbour a romantic vision that you would get your happy ever after? If yes, avoid the player mentality. It might be a bit of fun to start off with but if you start to develop romantic feelings because you are ready to settle down, then you are only going to get hurt. On the other hand, if you are just after a bit of fun flirtation and attention to make you feel good, there is nothing wrong with entering the game yourself and let the banter begin.
Some people enter the player arena thinking that they will not get hurt but somehow they do, so be sure that you are indulging in this flirtation for the right reasons and that you do not harbour the secret hopes that you will change your date in any way. If your date has been single for a long time and has never really committed to anybody, the chances are that they will not be able to. They might like you, enjoy your company and your sexual chemistry might absolutely sizzle but that does not necessarily lead to commitment.
Having some ardent attention however can be good for the soul. Even more, it can boost your self esteem through the roof. Deep down though, you may always be waiting for your date to move on. Once your time together starts to reek of normality, regular dates, getting to know each other, and regular sex- as good as you may be together, the player will need to find pastures new lest they get caught up in a real life relationship.
The player actually has deep insecurities but that doesn’t mean you will be able to change them. If you are enjoying the same sense of non-committal, it may be that you share those insecurities yourself but even so, game playing can be dangerous. If you do so, always keep in your mind that good things often do come to an end and usually before one of you is ready for it to do so. Don’t get hurt; just enjoy the fun whilst it lasts.