If you have been on your own for some time, it can be tempting to just want to rush headlong into a relationship, any relationship and to experience all of the good things of having someone of your own once more. Sharing your life with someone special might be paramount in your thoughts, but hold on just a second, if you are going to commit to someone, you really do need to be sure that they are the right person for you and that ultimately, they are going to bring you happiness.
No one enjoys being on their own all of the time. As much as there are many benefits to enjoying your own space and having control over your own life, it can often feel as if there is a gaping emotional hole that needs to be filled in order to somehow feel complete in an emotional sense but this is not strictly true. When a relationship feels right, then the feelings of love that result can and should filter through your whole life, it’s akin to emerging from the shadows and embracing the vibrancy of colour where you can breathe in love through every pore.
Settling for second best however reeks of desperation. It’s about welcoming any person into your life and just hoping that things will turn out. Somehow the yes, no or maybe button gets broken on those first few dates and complacency and acceptance kicks into play. Whilst you might get a sense of satisfaction at announcing you have the expected ‘other half’, you know if your heart is not completely in the relationship and you are cheating yourself out of a love that could be wonderful in the future.
If you really do have doubts about your relationship then it’s worth finding a few quiet moments and listing all of the things that you would really like out of any relationship and then creating a second list that highlights all of the things that you currently get out of your new ‘relationship’. You deserve to have a good partnership, one that satisfies your inner most needs. If the two lists are badly mismatched, then it’s time to rethink whether this relationship is going to work out and what you need to do about it.
It’s easy to settle for less if the prospect of being alone is a horrifying thought or whether life is tough financially or problematic. But do you really want to get yourself into a situation that could become complicated and unfulfilling? Does your partner make you smile? Does your partner light up your life the moment you set eyes on them? Do you feel that sense of overpowering love and affection when they turn to look at you? Do you see love shining from their eyes when you walk towards them?
Companionship is one thing and can tick many boxes off the proverbial list but true compatibility is hard to find. Do you share the same interests? Do you have the same moral coding and integrity? Can you really see your futures together happily entwined? Or are any annoying bad habits already starting to grate on your nerves?
Your future happiness must be based on sharing key objectives such as respect, emotional response and honesty. If you question your partner’s principles and standards then your relationship is not going to be a match made in heaven. No one should ever settle for second best as tempting as it might seem in the first instance, the actual reality is that your future is not going to be as rosy as you deserve because as someone of worth, you will realise that you are short-changing yourself in the romantic stakes.
Ok, life is not perfect and there is no perfect person but you are not holding out for perfection, you are holding out for true romantic love. It’s the romantic vision that you have always had for yourself. Walking hand in hand along a deserted beech, being curled up in each other’s arms by a roaring log fire, having them there for you in your hour of need. Why should you settle for something less than you truly deserve? Because somewhere out there in the murky mists of your future, there is a person that holds the key to true happiness for you, you just need to find them and welcome them into your life.
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