Dating can be fun, there’s no denying that meeting someone new for the very first time can be quite special. All that nervous tension, subtle flirtations and casual banter as you try to find out more about each other can be exciting and rewarding. But if you have tried online dating, speed dating and turned up for a multitude of disappointing blind dates, then you may be a little fed up of searching for ‘the one’.
You may have read numerous articles about how to attract more than a second glance and how to welcome that perfect one into your life; you may have even trawled the streets en-route to meet yet another and taken advice from family and friends and yet still, haven’t ensnared the man of your dreams.
You might even be wondering what on earth you are doing wrong? But hold that thought, you might not be doing anything wrong at all and in fact, thinking in negative terms can actually send out the wrong type of vibe to those around you. You know that you have a great deal to offer to the right man so maybe you just need to think about what you want and your dating needs in a different way.
Firstly, are you ready for a serious relationship? You might think that you are but deep down; does the thought of commitment scare you? Have you resolved any previous emotional scars from previous relationships? Are you looking for some light-hearted fun and attention more than a deep and long lasting commitment? Sometimes, it’s possible to send out a mixed signal to your dates and this could be causing conflicting messages to your date and scrambling the communication wavelengths.
Or you might be succumbing to relationship pressure. The feeling that you should by now have met that special someone but a committed relationship usually happens when you are actually ready and not just when you feel that maybe you should be with someone. In modern society, there are many people who choose to be single and for a variety of reasons, you may not be someone who wants to spend life on the single track but you may not be ready to fully embrace the whole togetherness thing either. This might come in time.
A good starting point is to deliberate over what you really want from a partner. Consider the type of person that would fit in with your hopes and dreams and way of life. It’s important to consider your own values. Next, consider your relationship history. Do you attract a specific type? Do you fall in love with a man who ultimately wants to control or manipulate? Do you fall in love with men who need a strong and independent woman?
Sometimes your own self-esteem or the lack of it can make you inadvertently push people away. You might desperately want to welcome love into your life but may not feel that you are deserving of it. These can be deep emotions and might not be instantly recognisable. Whatever has happened in the past, you need to be forgiving of yourself and of others, this is the only way that you will be able to move forward and welcome others into your life. Everyone has flaws and you should always learn from your mistakes and not be afraid to make changes so that you can become happier in your own skin.
Learn to be a little forgiving of flaws in your dates too. Keep an open mind and don’t look for issues, because if you do, you will no doubt find them. Too often people jump to conclusions, often spurred on by past experiences and yet, if you took the time to strip back the layers, your conclusion might be very different. Yes you have to be careful as to whom you let into your life but do give people a chance because nothing is black and white and you could be letting someone really nice walk away who deserves a chance.
Image:© Galina Barskaya | Dreamstime.com