Relationships that stand the test of time need to be forged on strong foundations which include shared interests, similar values and of course, that all-important ingredient- chemistry. All of these elements are vital if your relationship is going to have a solid and satisfying component to it. Miss out one element and you are on shaky ground immediately. Each of these aspects are akin to well-oiled cogs, your relationship is likely to work providing both sets of cogs work in unison.
Many people (especially in Internet Dating) mistakenly search for instant chemistry as the main ingredient and whilst, that chemistry has to exist, it will only last for a short time if those other components are lacking. This need for instant chemistry often occurs because within Internet dating realms, dates are almost disposable. By this I mean, one finishes and the next comes along. If you play the game with intent, it’s similar to having a conveyor belt of potential lovers coming by for inspection.
Internet dating has its good points obviously because it enables you to meet so many people who might be outside of your usual social circle and you could even live miles from each other with very little chance of meeting without the assistance of Internet dating sites. It’s important to establish what you are looking for though before you go on a date because completely mismatched needs are quickly discovered throughout the date and often lead to disappointment.
If you are looking for that special someone, stand by your guns and wait for them to materialise-you don’t have to settle for the first person who comes along and pays you some attention. There is no harm in playing the field either as long as you are honest about your intentions. Going out on dates gives you the great opportunity to hopefully meet people who share your values and even if you feel that the chemistry isn’t quite there, you may have made some good friends and you can never have too many of those. You also have to consider that instant chemistry is often transient and the best type of chemistry is when two people grow closer through shared opinions and interests and over time.
It’s worth remembering that no-one is perfect however so if you meet someone who almost ticks all of the boxes, don’t just dismiss them out of hand as an ‘almost but not quite’. Keep in touch, meet up when possible and see if the connection grows. If most of the vital components are there, the rest could develop.
At the end of the day, only you know what you are really looking for. You should certainly never drop your standards or settle for someone who almost makes you happy but sometimes compromise is important and there could be small compromises to be made on both sides. A good relationship is all about balance and it’s about both partners needing and respecting each other and trying to provide for the other during difficult times. Unfortunately, this is something that can be difficult to test until much later in the relationship where it can be disappointing if you find that your partner fails on something as important as emotional support.
It’s easy to go out on dates with rose-tinted glasses and set yourself up for that perfect date. False expectations can lead to disappointment so take a strong sense of realism with you and remember that you are dating a mere mortal, the same as yourself. Always be open and honest with your date and be yourself. Dates are nerve-wracking experiences at the best of times but you will have a far greater success rate if you just let yourself go and be completely natural.
Don’t’ forget to keep your feet firmly on the ground whilst you get to know each other. Internet dating especially can create a set of false expectations for relationship progression. Don’t just rush in glad of the attention and create a difficult situation for yourself. It’s one thing to hope to meet that perfect date, but it’s quite another to rush into a relationship and live in hope that it will turn out ok.
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