So you are at a party, slightly miffed that yet again you had to come alone, when you suddenly notice someone standing close to you. Not only is he close to you but you can smell his expensive aftershave and it’s so nice, and his body is pressing against yours every now and then. The sensation of having this complete stranger so close to you is almost thrilling and you are dying to look up and check him out completely but are almost scared to ruin the illusion. Next time, he presses against you, you promise yourself that you will look up and as that moment occurs, you force yourself to look up and find yourself staring into the deepest, darkest brown eyes that you thought possible.
One sharp intake of breath later and you realise that this accidental touching was no accident after all and he was clearly flirting with you and even now, he is talking to you in a fun way, nudging you and holding your gaze much longer than he should.
So now what? Flirting is excellent fun and it can spark off the start of a wonderful relationship. Flirting means that you focus solely on the person of interest. You enjoy the moment of breathlessness and enjoy the sensation of that first touch, those mischievous smiles, and flirtatious body language. For many people, flirting is instinctive, there is no thought about how to do it, it just happens when the right combination of factors occur. Of course some flirting is much more subtle and you need to be able to tap into your intuition to know how to act in return.
Prolonged eye contact is a dead giveaway. If he looks across the room at you and his gaze lingers and then his gaze sweeps across your face and body, he is interested. If you are close enough, take a look into his eyes and see whether his pupils are dilated. If he winks at you or arches his eyebrows in a sardonic but amused way, he is flirting his intention to get to know you better. If you really want to set his pulse racing, lick your lips quickly and yet suggestively and stroke your hair. Smile at him and then look away but then glance back, if you get a smile back, you know that you are in there.
There are other signals such as bringing attention to specific features such as your breasts, leaning forward, fidgeting as if with nerves, whispering to each other. Mirroring each other’s body language is also a dead giveaway in the flirting stakes.
Whatever you choose to do when flirting, don’t make it too obvious and make a caricature of your movements. It will merely make you look silly and not appealing at all. Don’t use silly and ultimately cheesy pick-up lines, they really don’t work and nor will being too aggressive or vulgar in your aim to get to know him better. Flirting by its very nature is to instigate interest in the other person and to have some mild, special fun but never to intimidate or to make someone feel awkward. Mutual flirting is fun, but remember that some people flirt constantly, it’s their nature and sometimes it’s just meant for fun and is purely harmless.
Enjoy your flirting and learn to make it instinctive but whilst you are doing that, remember to choose carefully who you flirt with and the moment it stops being fun or if it becomes awkward or threatening, it’s time to stop. Some people are off-limits so don’t even waste your time.
If you are single, practice flirting at almost every opportunity until it becomes second nature and the next time some gorgeous hunk starts staring across the room at you, don’t be backward in coming forward. Flirt.