It can be so difficult to find someone that you are really attracted to, but equally frustrating when you have found the man of your dreams and yet, he doesn’t really know that you even exist. You see him most days perhaps on the bus to work or in the office, you know that he’s single, perhaps he has told a few funny Internet dating tales and you really, really want him. But what the hell do you do to get him to not only cast a glance in your direction, but to actually fall for you too?
It’s easy to make a first and lasting impression but you need to make a good impression and one that really shows you in a favourable light. You also know that you need to step up a gear and to get him to notice you quite quickly before some other woman gets to him first.
You have no doubt that he has droves of women after him and you might even find yourself doubting your own chances with him especially if the competitions is hot, but don’t let any negative thoughts creep in. First you have to consider how much you know about him or are you just attracted to his looks? If you are pretty certain that you have loads in common, then you can certainly use this angle to get the conversation going.
Men might historically have been the ones who were supposed to make all the moves but not in modern society, if you wait for him to notice you and to actually ask you out, you may well be old and grey, so you really need to be able to communicate your interest in a sophisticated and yet non pushy manner. Learning how to show your interest without simpering is an art form, practice a little in front of a mirror to make sure you are not overly exaggerating your eye contact or body language.
Once you have managed to get the conversation going, you are really going to have to learn how to flirt with him. You might think that you are a champion flirt and your flirting sounds great in your mind’s eye, remember that men respond in a different way than women and you need to flirt on his level.
Assuming that you are able to chat to him quite easily and you feel that there definitely could be a hidden spark there just waiting to be discovered, it’s important to ensure that he doesn’t just like you but fancies you too. You need to flirt with a little more intensity and make him feel that he is sexually drawn to you. Your body language doesn’t have to be over the top, just turn the heat up a little and be a little suggestive; if he is not backwards coming forwards then he won’t miss the signals.
It’s not easy for anyone to make the first move but if you have shown plenty of interest without laying it 100% on the line, then really the next move is up to him. If you have been overtly sensuous, he may just be interested in a one night stand but if this isn’t what you want, then hold back. Just because you like the guy, you don’t have to jump into bed with him the very first second he notices you back, unless you want to of course.
If you have managed to cultivate his interest and built up a little rapport, then don’t be afraid to ask him out for a drink. If you want to keep it fairly casual, then you can make it a lunchtime date, but if you are hoping that your one or two drinks will turn into a whole evening, then arrange to meet after you finish work. Make sure you don’t get tongue tied or clam up around him. If you are nervous, have a few questions to ask him or topics to discuss and you will soon be enjoying your time together. Fingers crossed.
Image:© Dmitry Kosterev | Dreamstime.com