So you went out and had a sizzling first date. He laughed at every single joke that you made, he sympathized with your past dating failures and he admired your get up and go and all of your successes, and most importantly, you felt that the chemistry between you sparked like mad when he finally kissed you at the end of the night.
So you go home in a great mood and wait for him to text or call you to say what a brilliant night he had, but your phone stays ominously silent. You might be forgiven for feeling a little puzzled because the date seemed faultless. But of course you are only looking at the date from your perception; there are a number of reasons as to why he might not have contacted you straight away. He might be scared to seem too keen, he might have enjoyed the date but not be planning to see anyone seriously yet, you might have come across a little too intense or, horror upon horrors, you might not be his type.
If you met your man through Internet dating, you have to be prepared for him to not contact you. The reason for this is that there are masses of other women on the dating sites and it is likely that he may have been talking to several women at the same time. As much as you might feel horrified at the thought that you’re not the only one he is talking to, bear in mind that it works the same for you too. At the end of the day, finding and meeting the one is an important part of your life so why would you just settle for the first person that you meet?
The downside to this thought process which is an inevitable part of the dating game, is that you may find yourself over-analysing the date from start to finish and this is dangerous. There is no point doing this unless you know that you acted out of character or said or did something outrageously wrong. You can’t possibly pre-empt what he is thinking and feeling so anything that you feel regarding your date is purely supposition.
Sometimes there may be an instant attraction when you meet a new man, and if he is attentitive, shows you interest and you know that he is single; you might be sat there already planning your futures together right from the start but you have to stop. Often if you feel an instant attraction to your date, then you might find that you have some co-dependency issues and this means you are building up a fantasy world out of very little substance.
Stop acting like a detective and analyzing every single move or comment that is made and instead just enjoy any dates. There is no point trying to ‘get inside his head’ and working out what makes him tick. There is no point trying to be someone else who you think that he might want, you have to be you and to be confident about yourself. Will every man immediately fall for your charms? No, of course not. But you will attract nicer people if you are comfortable with opening up and being natural to those new men that you meet.
So should you immediately stop dating others when you experience your dream date? No, there is no point because you don’t know what he is thinking and even what he wants in life. His life plans might not even include the prospect of meeting someone and settling down and many men go on dating sites to expand their social circle and not simply to fall in love.
By keeping yourself available, you will take the pressure off yourself to try and make this one potential date work. You will also take the intensity off him. Signals can be subtle and picked up subconsciously so you might not feel that you are sending out an intense vibe but he might be feeling it. Just relax and enjoy any date for what it is. Enjoy getting out and meeting others and building up your confidence levels but whatever you do, don’t try and push the date forward to the next level, romance cannot be controlled or manipulated. Don’t just sit by the phone waiting for his call, get out there and get on with your life, if he calls, that’s fantastic, if he doesn’t, then it’s likely that emotionally you are in different places right now and that’s ok.