If you have seen women and men who attract a steady stream of potential lovers then you may be wondering what you are doing wrong and how on earth you can make yourself so irresistible to the opposite sex. After all, you think you look quite good, you take pride in your appearance, you dress nice and you can tell a good joke when necessary. So what is not to like? Why can’t you find that dream date?
Firstly it’s important to realise that no-one is perfect. You could be the most attractive person in the world but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to do great with the opposite sex. So what do you need so that you generate appeal?
Well, you can analyse those who are more successful (not so that you become clone-like of course) but just to see what works and what doesn’t. If you take a look at the competition –for want of a better word- you need to be able to view them dispassionately. This doesn’t mean stalking them from pub to pub or following them covertly –this will merely draw a great deal of the wrong sort of attention towards you. Assuming your fellow competitors in the dating stakes looks the part, what other qualities do they have? Looks alone would not hold someone’s attention for long so they have to have some sort of appeal that attracts the opposite sex to them and keeps them coming back for more. Do they look relaxed? Do they laugh a lot? Do they listen to their date with avid attention? Are they touchy feely or do they hold back? Do you think for one second that they look desperately intense or so grateful that someone is paying them attention? Probably not if they are successful romantically.
Whatever qualities they have, one of the most obvious and sometimes underestimated qualities can be that they act naturally. They are who they say they are. There is no pretence; they just enjoy being who they are and sharing their time with their latest date. This then leads on to that sense of quiet confidence. This is an extremely appealing quality for anyone to have and if they have it in abundance, then this may be why they are so popular but of course there is no ‘one’ thing that makes someone stand out in the crowd.
Ultimately, everyone wishes to find happiness but some are more relaxed in their approach towards love and if you are very keen to find the love of your life, there is a chance that this need, this sense of urgency could be the very thing keeping you from finding someone special. Intensity in its truest form can be both appealing and off-putting. Intensity because you have a passion for something – a hobby or your job for example adds an extra layer of appeal to you but having an intensity towards someone can be just too much.
It’s hard to strike a perfect balance because you can’t help wanting to be with someone and dreaming of your own happy ever after. Most people do want to find their soul mate and live the dream; it could be though that some manage their intensity and expectations a little better.
There can be other aspects that can put off potential dates too. If you are prone to nagging or complaining, you need to listen to yourself and stop immediately. Doesn’t it make sense that people will be more attracted to someone who knows how to have a good time and who is full of life? Equally sitting and pondering over why life has gone wrong in the past or why you can’t get someone to love you for you are just not attractive qualities and will often scare potential dates away without a second glance.
If you think about our intrinsic primal instinct, you will be able to understand that people want the fittest, strongest, healthiest person possible and this extends into the kindest, the funniest etc. We can’t help wanting the best partner that we can possibly have. It’s an instinctive response. All you need to do is to learn how to exude these qualities to others but don’t try too hard in the process-remember be natural.
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