You sign up to your favorite online dating service because you really want to meet that special someone. Your friends have all been out and enjoyed lots of different dates and are having a whale of a time meeting a variety of men from different backgrounds and with different professions so you think, why the hell not? Why should your friends have all of the fun?
You are single and feel ready to meet some gorgeous other and to have a little bit of fun. So whilst you should run full steam ahead with your bid to meet that perfect man, it’s worth throwing a little bit of caution into the mix and keeping your eyes open for any married men who might be lurking online and who will be mainly looking for a bit of fun.
The first thing that you need to do when going online is to check out the dating profiles of those who you are attracted to. If the profile seems deliberately vague, he may well have something to hide. It’s no fun being suspicious constantly about the men who you are chatting to but there are many married men online and sometimes it’s easier to detect their marital status by indulging in a little bit of detective work.
Take a good look at the profile photos too. Has he posted some good photos of himself? Can you see his face quite clearly? Do all of his photos show him looking to the side or hiding under a hat or wearing sunglasses? Essentially you want to think about whether you would be able to recognize him if you met him in a bar or pub, and if it’s doubtful, he may be deliberately hiding his features. Of course, these are not instigative of him cheating on his wife or of trying to lull some poor innocent woman into bed, and he might just not like having his photo done or feel shy about being on a dating site.
But wait, there is more. When you start talking to these men, do they take a long time to reply to a text? If you call him on his mobile, does it go to voice mail more times than not? Does he have two phones but you only get the one number for example? These are red flag warning signals and you should proceed with caution in a romantic sense.
When you meet up at a place of your choice, is he really cagey about how much close contact the two of you enjoy? If he seems uneasy holding your hand when there are a lot of people around, then it’s possible that he is worried about being spotted. If he seems very different when you are in a quiet location and seems to want to get up close and personal with you, hold back, this is conflicting behaviour which needs to be checked out before you get carried away.
So you eventually find a cosy place to sit and chat and you start to probe him gently for information about his life. Most men will feel very flattered that you take the time and effort to really want to get to know him but the married man is likely to be a whole lot cagier. It’s likely that the married man will want to keep a degree of separation between the life that he shares with his wife and family and the life that is intends to portray with you. It’s often easy to catch a married man out if you have an open minded approach simply because you will start to spot the discrepancies and lies. It may sound obvious but checking out his ring finger can be one of the best indicators, even if he has removed the ring, you might still be able to see that he was wearing one.
Bear in mind that the married man may not be so worried about you finding out that he is married although if he can keep his double life a secret, he will for obvious reasons but he will be very worried about his wife finding out about you. If you are smart, you will run a mile once you have encountered the ‘online married man’ because it is likely to get messy if you are not careful.
Just keep your eyes open and always look out for any obvious discrepancy during any conversations. Of course not all men are online liars, but you do need to protect yourself from the potential of getting romantically hurt by someone who is very unavailable.
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