To be truly charismatic, you need to be completely confident and un-obsessed with how you look and act. If you are really worried about how you look for example, and your focus is on your hair, your clothes or any little flaws that you feel you have, then these anxieties will certainly detract from your confidence and will translate across to your date. Of course you want to look good, who doesn’t? But obsessing will become very visible.
It might be that secretly you worry about being judged especially if you are meeting people for the first time but again, if it matters so much as to what others think of you, this will be blatantly obvious to any date, so becoming comfortable in your inner skin is paramount. So to be confident, you need to fix any problems or self-doubts so that you can forget about being concerned and just be you and this will free up any natural charisma, which you probably have in abundance.
You can use affirmations to help you to feel more confident or to help develop your natural charisma and affirmations are very powerful when used correctly. Simply, they are statements of intent so you can write your own to make them much more individual and therefore powerful. You can use visualization techniques and meditation to help consolidate any self-improvements and by simply conjuring up the image of you looking happy and exuding charm and sex appeal.
By working on building up your confidence and so that you feel comfortable and happy with the person that you are, you will soon start to see and feel a difference. But being charismatic is about your body language too. If you are introverted and sitting huddled in a corner, worried about what your date might be thinking, this will only add to their perception that you are very unconfident and a lack of confidence isn’t appealing. Don’t sit with your arms folded which translates as a barrier to any prospective date and sit up but in a relaxed style leaning into the date sometimes in a conspirator way and this engages your date and shows your interest too. Don’t forget to smile, but never force it. Direct eye contact where you hold his gaze for a few seconds and having a natural smile is very charming and your date is likely to relax and smile back at you.
If you are shy and nervous there may be a tendency to mumble but those people who are naturally charismatic tend to speak clearly and distinctly. If you know that you talk too fast, practice slowing your speaking voice down just a little, until you feel comfortable with articulating the words.
Remember that you are not trying to change the way you are, merely becoming more confident and developing your sense of charisma and style. Learning to project it outwards is another skill that is worth practicing but it will come more naturally once you feel confident with yourself and you become used to going on regular dates and indulging in a little flirtatious behaviour. Charisma is an intangible quality. It can be difficult to define. Some people might seem to have it naturally. You may have noticed that they have a quirky sense of humour that seems to attract others to them, or they have a shy but seductive smile that has appeal, or they are genuinely interested in others and are warming, friendly and caring which makes them have appeal too.
To be naturally charismatic, don’t worry too much about any negative elements; instead focus on increasing your good points. If you know that you have a great sense of humour, then allow that to shine through, if you know that you have a lovely smile, then use it. Charisma is there probably hidden under layers of self-doubt and insecurities, all you need to do is to dig deep and release that charismatic appeal.