There’s no pain like the heartache of a lost love
especially if you have been together for some time and have formed bonds that
go far beyond the physical and your emotions have been inextricably linked for
some time. Depending on how your big break-up occurred – a silly row where you
both said things you didn’t mean, you may have found yourself watching for his
distinctive knock on the door or listening for every phone call and hoping
against hope that he will ring you once he has calmed down.
You might have even entertained the idea of trying to get him back.
Maybe eat a little bit of humble pie or admit that maybe, just maybe you were
wrong? It’s hard to accept a break up especially if it occurred during a hot
headed row. Sometimes silly things spark up the fieriest of rows which lead to
big walk-outs but if you both still love each other, you may be wondering if
there is still hope?
It’s hard to view things from a logical stance when your heart is
bruised but if you can take a step back from all of the emotions; it may help
to give you an important sense of clarity and to identify any tell-tale signs
that there is still hope.
First of all, do you still have a lot of your ex’s belongings stored at
your places? If yes, this is a classic sign that there is still some hope that
you can patch things up because it would have been easy for him to collect his
belongings and even if he didn’t want to see you, he could have sent someone
else around. It’s a sign of attachment and still needing to keep the bonds
alive. He may be hoping that by leaving his things where they are, it will stop
you from emotionally moving on. This might be a subconscious thought of course,
but it could well exist.
Does your ex still communicate with you? If you are receiving texts or
phone calls from him it means that he still wants to hear from you. Of course,
if he is ringing up to simply continue the row, then draw a line through this
one, but often, keeping the communication airwaves open mean that there is
still some deep feelings.. Depending on the row and how you are feeling
afterwards, sometimes it’s worth cutting off the communication for a while to
allow yourself to simmer and to analyse how you really feel. If it’s just one
of a long, long line of rows, then you do need to think about whether it is
worth papering over the cracks- again.
Another sign that he still cares, ironically is if he starts parading all over
town with the latest girlfriend draped on to his arm. Now this might not seem as
if he is trying to win you over but there is a certain sense to his making you
jealous. It’s a difficult situation because the last thing you will want to do
is to remain calm but it will at least give you the opportunity of analysing
your feelings properly. How did it make you feel to see him with someone else?
If the answer was very little or a sense of relief that it’s all over, then you
know that it’s truly time to move on. Don’t dwell on it, accept it and see it
as a new starting point in your life and that it gives you the opportunity to
meet someone new.
Whatever happens going forward, at some point you will need to ensure
that you tidy up the situation either by sitting and discussing what went wrong
and deliberating how to avoid the situation again, or by tidying up the
emotional clutter and getting him to come and get his things. For as long as
you leave his things around the house, it’s like having one foot always in the
door and to enable you to have complete closure, be brave and draw a line under
your relationship. As much as it might hurt, it will be worth it in the end.