You have been nurturing your new Internet romance for weeks, emailing each other regularly, sharing secrets, and deep down you may even have been developing emotions that seem real, so it’s not surprising that you look forward to every message and to finding out more about your potential mate. Sometimes, when virtual contact continues over an extended period of time, it can feel if something deep and tangible is starting to build. There is no doubt that this semi-real environment is fun and even addictive but making the transition from writing to each other to actually meeting up, is a huge step, because it’s also going to reveal once and for all, whether that all-important chemistry is really there or is just a figment of your desire to meet someone special.
Let’s be honest, it’s easy to get caught up in the all of the fun and attention when you get a new person in your life even a virtual one. Their profile picture is fantastic, their sense of humour emanates from their beautifully written emails, you like their apparent morals, their work ethics and their opinions, well, so far so good. Maybe you have even spoken on the phone and their voice resonates with you on a deep and sensual level? But remember, all of this contact still doesn’t reveal the true person that exists and only helps you to form an even bigger impression of this dream person in your mind. That chemistry is there in theory, but you can’t force it to happen in the cold light of day, it’s either there……or it’s not.
Internet dating provides you with some great opportunities to meet people from outside of your immediate social circle and your local area too, and without Internet dating, you wouldn’t have nearly so many chances of meeting that all-important someone but, let’s be realistic, written communications are never going to strip bare the heart and soul of that individual or reveal their individual quirks. Only a face to face meeting allows you to connect with them on an intrinsic level and to establish whether the basis of something really good is about to happen.
So what happens when you meet? With tensions rising, it’s hard to forget that first impressions really do count, and your initial impressions might not be what you expected. Reservations, mild disappointment and sometimes, that wow factor but whatever impressions you may form in the first few minutes of meeting, don’t panic, just settle into the date and enjoy because it’s worth spending time together to see if any potential attraction deepens or withers.
Sometimes there is an obvious chemistry, whereas at other times, chemistry can be like a seed and be slow to germinate. Because of the pressure on you both to make a positive connection, be aware, that this stress can act to stifle any chemistry and it could be lying dormant. Physical and emotional attractions can never be forced though and if you are not feeling that rush of attraction as you battle with your physical feelings, you may need to simply chalk it up to experience and maybe consider this date only as a potential new friend and it’s back to the drawing board romantically.
When you have put so much effort into regular contact even through emails, it’s easy to feel disappointed if that potential sexual tension dissipates but don’t forget that left alone to play, your imagination and deeply rooted desire to meet someone special, can play tricks on your physical and emotional needs and you can be left emotionally exposed. Whilst Internet dating can provide you with the opportunity to meet your soul mate, there could be many frogs for you to kiss en-route before any electric connection becomes apparent and you meet that special someone. But just because the deep passion or feelings of love have not materialised, it can still be worth meeting up again especially if on some level, you enjoy your dates and feel comfortable together. Chemistry can be late to bloom and only occurs once a deep level of friendship has been borne and the foundations for something secure cemented into place and worst case scenario? You have found a new friend.
Occasionally, you might meet your date and feel a distinct aversion to them. Whilst your romantic dreams may be shattering into fragments, it’s important to trust your instinct if alarm bells start to ring. Online, people can be who they want to be but in the flesh, it’s harder to hide behind a false image and you will know if you really don’t want to see them again. On these occasions, the chemistry, instead of tingling, becomes a reversed polarity magnet so that you repel against each other. With feelings like this, put a stop to the date and move on.
No comments yet.