It can certainly be a scary time to enter the dating arena following a divorce and whether your divorce was an amicable one or you feel battle scarred as a result, it can take a lot of courage to pick up the reins and start to meet others who are single and facing the same scary journey.
It can be a good idea to have a little bit of time on your own at first before rushing into a new relationship, but for many, that feeling of being alone seems more terrifying than throwing yourself back into a social frenzy of dating but it can certainly help you to feel more confident as an individual and realize that you don’t need to be with someone for the sake of it.
Coming to terms with a divorce can take some time. After all, you may have been through hell and back during the actual process let alone the months or years where you knew that the relationship was sinking like a stone but felt too fearful of the end game to do anything about it. You might be feeling that being alone is preferable to all of the hassle of meeting someone new but careful here; it’s easy to grow accustomed to being alone and to then struggle to let someone back into your life. Of course, relishing a little bit of freedom for a while is never a bad thing and it’s something that you should embrace if you are feeling the need to have breathing space emotionally.
Internet dating will give you plenty of opportunities to spread the dating net far and wide and it’s easy to sign up to any of the dating agencies around and providing you have Internet access, it’s fun to start searching and to see who else is out there, ready and available. Before long you will be overwhelmed with the amount of attention that you are getting and this truly is the fun part. Learn to relax into it and to enjoy the abundance of virtual attention. There is no designated time when you have to take the plunge and get out there and start meeting people, you can take months or grab the first date request and run with it.
Whatever you decide to do, keep your feet on the ground. As much as you may have been through a difficult and emotionally traumatic time, so will others have shared similar or worse in terms of emotional and financially traumas and their lives may be in tatters. Think carefully about running headlong into a new relationship fraught with difficulties form the word go. There is nothing wrong with dating someone who has had a difficult relationship, but just make sure that any proverbial baggage doesn’t trip you up constantly as your relationship grows.
The great thing about Internet dating is that you don’t have to rush into anything, you have lots of opportunities to meet people at your own pace and if something doesn’t’ quite feel right, then don’t do it. Never meet anyone if you have doubts about them and always, always choose a public place for a first date so that you are relatively safe. Everyone feels a little paranoid at first, after all, you never know who you are going to meet up with but put it into perspective, you take the same risks if you meet someone by chance in a local bar, and Internet dating hasn’t accelerated this risk.
It can be easy to feel the need to be part of a relationship again, this can happen especially when you have been in a long-term relationship of many years. Insecurities, loneliness can all drive you into the arms of another quite quickly; just make sure that the new person deserves to have you. Many people will have been through the same process as you so in a way that can help to still the nerves a bit and you know that they should at least have empathy with your experiences and you can support each other. Support however is a two way thing, so don’t get worn out by becoming inextricably involved in someone else’s problems especially initially.
Internet dating can literally offer a lifeline back from the heartache of divorce and provide an almost unlimited supply of single others all happy to share their experiences and company in the hopes of finding that certain mix of chemistry and friendship that could make for some strong foundations for a future relationship. But with that in mind, enjoy each date for what it is and learn to love each and every experience.