You might be forgiven for thinking that you would approach your middle years with your settled partner and both of you share the ups and downs of any mid-life calamities. However, if you suddenly find yourself on your own and having to start single life again with a whole lot more baggage than when you started out, then it’s time to get a grip of the situation and to give your life some new direction. It would be easy to wallow in the ‘poor me’ arena especially if you have been badly let down but realistically, feeling down is not going to buy you any future happiness and you owe it to yourself to do just that. Sometimes, as hard as it seems, you really do have to pick yourself up and embrace the unknown.
It’s never easy starting over and dating can be a bit scary especially if you are a bit out of practice. On the plus side, it’s a whole lot easier to cope with the trials and tribulations of romantic encounters in mid-life than when you were in your twenties. The most important thing is to start re-creating your social life. If your partner did the dirty on you and ran off with someone else, it’s time to close the door on that chapter and not hold on just in case it was all a terrible mistake.
If you have good friends that can help you boost your social life, so much the better, but you may find yourself looking around and wondering where all the single people have gone. It can be intimidating to see so many others in apparently good relationships but whilst the single people may suddenly seem a little on the rare side, don’t panic, they are out there but it can be harder to detect them as you get a little older. It’s also more difficult to ascertain if someone is truly available without walking up to them and asking them outright.
Assuming that this is not the approach that you wish to take, it might be a good idea to look at Internet dating. At least this way, you can have your pick of (hopefully) genuine singles all from a virtual perspective whilst you sit in front of a cosy log fire and relax whilst viewing their profiles. This is the fun bit, eye candy before getting onto the main course. You can pick and choose to your heart’s content before deciding whether you want to actually contact someone. Firstly though, consider what you want to achieve out of this, are you looking to rush straight into a serious relationship or right now do you just need some attention to boost your flagging ego?
You might feel dejected and unloved right now but take it from me, there are lots of singles out there who would love to be with you, the hard part is finding them and then letting them into your life. Do you want someone who lives locally? Would you prefer someone who lives a little further away so you can have a taste of independence for a while? Internet dating is a great way to meet people from not just your local area but across the country, of course the downside to meeting someone who lives some distance away is that you are not going to be able to see them often. Remember though that your wants and needs may change at the drop of a hat so just go with the flow.
Romance is never going to be straight forward and once you start developing feelings for someone again, it’s important to make sure you are emotionally ready to move on and embrace this new love, irrespective of how the previous one treated you. Life is too short to get stuck in the past, embrace singledom like it’s a long lost friend and act outrageously for once; don’t you deserve a little love, attention and fun after all you have been through? Live a little and laugh a lot, after all, you can always blame it on your mid-life crisis.