So you have met a lovely person and your date has flowed really well. There may not have been strong indications of a joint chemistry but your date laughed at every amusing story that you told and you believe deep down that some connection has been made, so as the end of the date looms, what do you do? Do you seize the moment and pucker up for a kiss or do you just hope that you will know instinctively and that moment will just happen?
It’s true that the end of any date –especially a first one can be a bit awkward but remember these feelings of awkwardness and trepidation works both ways. A date may have gone well but that doesn’t mean that your date has any romantic feelings towards you. Perhaps you are a little hesitant and giving out the wrong signals or maybe are attracted but are not sure whether it’s more friendship based at this point?
The dating game is a difficult one. Whilst one person can feel attracted to the other, it sadly does not mean that the feelings are reciprocated. The date can be enjoyable on its own merits without any feelings of long term romance looming and this is why it can be difficult to tell what the other is feeling. Primarily however, it is important that you know how you feel and you can determine this by answering these questions honestly and without hesitation:
Do you really want to kiss?
Do you really want to see this person again?
If the answer is a resounding yes, then don’t fight it, as the date draws to a close, allow the moment to happen.
You can put out subtle hints throughout the date, matching your body language to theirs, making more eye contact, really listening to what they have to say and there will be times when you touch innocently, and you can ascertain if your date pulls away or whether it all feels quite natural and comfortable? Reading the moment is important and staying honest is important too as that sets the precedent for any future dates.
Importantly, do you feel relaxed together? If you share the same sense of humour and have enjoyed compelling conversation and there has been no awkwardness or tension, then you are in with a chance that a good night kiss is likely as is that all-important second date. Never force the moment though. You can build up to it with a hug and a warm embrace and you will know in that moment whether the feeling is mutual. If it is, enjoy that good night kiss.
The flip side of the coin however is when a date has been less than inspiring and you know deep down that you don’t care whether you ever see them again. It’s a difficult time as no doubt you have no wish to hurt their feelings but it’s important that you do not lie. Ending the date early is always a signal that you are not having fun. It’s likely your date will be very aware that your time together has not gone well and may be disappointed or possibly relieved that you have called it a day. Ultimately, your honesty will be appreciated.
Don’t pretend that you are going to meet up again if you really don’t want to meet. If you can only genuinely offer friendship then say that because it is cruel to keep someone’s hopes up falsely. If the evening was a success but you still have doubts about that all important chemistry, don’t try instigating a kiss just to test out if there is a possible physical chemistry there. It only gives out the wrong signals.
Try to keep things as relaxed and casual as possible especially if you find your interest waning. They will pick up on the signals and are likely to know that the date is not going as well as hoped. If they ask however, be honest but in a kind way. A first date is a terrifying experience and it can be cruel to not let someone down gently.
Be kind, be considerate-whatever your feelings but end the date in style intuitively and with compassion and if that special moment does happen, enjoy every single second.