What Men Really, Really Want

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There is always a big mystery between men and women. Men find women unfathomable, difficult and alien in their approach and women often find men shallow, unreliable and only interested in one thing. But is this really the case?  Are women guilty of this stereotypical response? Do you feel this way too sometimes when you look back at your relationships?  Do you often get the feeling that your former partner never really understood you at all?

It is true to say that most women have a specific viewpoint on men and their motives. They don’t really understand men and believe that men in general are really only interested in sex and that those important romantic gestures such as hand holding, cuddling and being affectionate for affection sake is way down the scale of importance. This isn’t true of course. Men love to be cuddled too and can be romantic and loving, but this comes usually much further down the line when those more loving feelings have deepened.

Do you see men as aggressively seeking out sex, determined, selfish and only caring about their own needs? It is true that men can be less emotional certainly on the outside and can be driven by different needs but men can become equally scared of falling in love and about the big happy ever after. They might not show their emotions as much but when they care for a woman; they worry about pleasing their partner, whether they have done enough to make their partner happy and about caring and protecting.

Men are often attracted to confident women who have a high self-esteem and who are comfortable in their own skin. Shallow women who are self-absorbed are not high on the list of potential partners. Men find giving constant reassurances to be an irritant. Insecurities are off-putting and many men feel that irrespective of what they say to reassure their partner, she won’t believe it anyway.  How many times have you asked a partner for constant reassurance? Of course it’s fine to get a second opinion as to how you look if you are getting ready to go out but if your need for attention is deeper than that, then you need to ascertain why.

Men also like women who are assertive in life. A woman who has that inner drive and get-up and go is an attractive entity. Remember, success is an attractive quality too. That assertive confidence is sexy.  Assertive women command respect and yet are gentle but firm. An assertive woman isn’t scared to state what she wants and needs. Assertive women are genuine and honest but are not aggressive. Would you consider yourself an assertive woman or are you aggressive or unconfident in your approach?

Men love to be kept interested so if you are unpredictable and spontaneous in your approach, then you are onto a winner. Having an imaginative woman on their arm keeps the spice in the relationship. It’s all part of the mystery that is being a woman, men might not understand it but they are compelled to stick around and to let their woman lead the way because the mystery is enticing. Men don’t want the proverbial drama queen either. If you are a low maintenance woman who takes life head on and sorts out all challenges with a sense of positivity and style, then your man is much more likely to stick around. Drama queens are hard work, they take a great deal of effort to appease and cajole. The average man finds this too consuming time-wise.

If you really want to attract a man who you can be truly compatible with, you need to ensure that you are comfortable with who you are, have your own friends, be independent and not emotionally needy. This is because you will then bring more to the relationship, make it richer, more honest and you can become a source of inspiration to your man and he will look forward to spending time with you whenever he can.  This attitude will make you alluring and your man will meet you half way in terms of commitment. So the difference between men and women may not be so vast, it just takes men longer in general to learn and open up to the woman’s needs.

Image:© Rebecca Abell | Dreamstime.com

About Pamela Page

Hi, I'm Pamela and I'm so excited to talk to you about your love life. I've had some really amazing and extremely horrible luck with online dating, so I figure I'd share my experience with the world. Remember to download my Free Online Dating Guide!


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