When to Say Yes to More…

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There is no doubt that for the majority of people, sex is an intrinsic and important part of any relationship. Sexual desire can occur in an instant though, so what do you do if you have only just met someone and his smile just makes you want to dissolve?  It’s unlikely you are going to jump into bed with him straight away but that might not stop you thinking about it.

Sexual attraction is an important part of falling in love and is a way in which we can show how much we are attracted to someone or how much we truly love them. Nowadays of course, sex doesn’t have to be reserved for that special other, you can have sex when you like and with whom you like. But the question is, should you?

There is no doubt that it’s tempting when you meet someone you really like. Sometimes you can go on a date and meet someone who is very genuine, kind and interesting but there is just no sexual spark and the date can feel a little flat as your flirtatious nature never gets to come out to play. So when that certain person comes along and you feel yourself light up like a Christmas tree, do you hold back or throw caution to the wind?

Sex is no longer sacred. It’s expected that a couple will fulfil this side of their relationship sooner rather than later but does there have to be more than just chemistry? It’s an age old dilemma, after all, women have just as many sexual urges as men, it’s just that historically, it wasn’t thought of as moral to just succumb to someone’s charms. Playing hard to get was an important part of the dating foreplay after all and it still can be the fun part, especially if you know that at some point, the physical aspect is going to happen.

If you are experiencing an overwhelming attraction to the new man in your life, it’s important to think things through before acting rashly. First of all, do you really like this new man? Are you hoping that by sleeping with him your relationship is going to develop into something more serious and you will be offered a form of commitment? Do you think that this could develop into a lasting relationship or are you offering body and soul to someone who is only after a quick fling?

Make sure your reasoning is clear in your mind before acting. If it’s purely lust and you want to have a little fun, then there is no reason why you cannot indulge in your sexual liaison, but if you are hoping to make him fall in love with you, this may not be the way forward.

Of course it’s old fashioned to think that you shouldn’t have a sexual partner or be the one to make the first move on him, but if you are unsure about whether he will think badly of you for doing so, then you may want to hold on. Listen to your gut feeling as this can help you to avoid making a mistake. The last thing that you want to happen is to feel bad about your actions afterwards.

There is no right or wrong way to play it. If you see sex as sex and just want to have fun, the only person that you are accountable for is yourself, but if you want your relationship to develop a little then why not take your time and allow the sexual attraction to simmer for a while, whilst you get to know each other more? You could well find that your lust was just surface deep and that once you had delved a little deeper, you no longer find him quite so fascinating. On the other hand, as you get to know him, your attraction might reach potent new heights and you can’t wait to get him into bed. Do whatever feels right for you at the time and if you make any mistakes, just learn from them.


 Image:© Kornilovdream | Dreamstime.com

About Pamela Page

Hi, I'm Pamela and I'm so excited to talk to you about your love life. I've had some really amazing and extremely horrible luck with online dating, so I figure I'd share my experience with the world. Remember to download my Free Online Dating Guide!


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