If you have suddenly plunged back into a relationship and have loved these new feelings of closeness and commitment, you won’t be alone in starting to experience panic attacks in case your relationship suddenly takes a turn for the worse. In those first few weeks and months when love is new, the whole world takes on that proverbial rosy glow and life is so damn good. But it’s precisely this awareness that makes you realise how lucky you are to find someone who compliments your own life so perfectly, that makes you dread the thought of what if it all goes horribly wrong.
First of all, take a deep breath and relax. There are no guarantees of course that any relationship is going to work. People break up everyday often because they have made bad relationship choices in the first place and eventually the cracks of the relationship start to become visible and too substantial to ignore.
But if romantic bliss is currently yours at the moment, then there are a lot that you can do to make your relationship stay afloat and out of trouble. Firstly, both of you need to devote some quality time to the relationship and to each other. It can be difficult when there are likely to be so many demands on your time but if your relationship is worth it, you have to make the effort.
Sometimes it might seem as if one of you is making all of the compromises and this can soon build up to feelings of discontentment and resentment so don’t let this become a problem, talk about how you both need to ‘give’ to the relationship.
If your partner is incredibly busy with work demands, it can be almost easy sometimes that he switches off from your conversation when you are spending time together and instead, work demands may still be rushing around in his head. Be patient but bring him back to your conversation making him realise that he has to let go of other concerns when you are spending time together or at the very least, discuss his concerns with you.
It might be tempting to build your whole life around him but don’t. He may have been attracted to your independence and love the fact that you are worldly and passionate about your work or interests. Don’t give it all up because suddenly he has become the centre of your world. You can of course be yourself, show him that you care but if you start becoming clingy suddenly, this will only make your partner feel that it is too intense and he may feel trapped.
If you do fall out, it’s important that you don’t harbour grudges forever. Yes if he has really upset you then no way should you let it pass but you also have to try to look at the bigger picture. Would the same thing upset you so much if it happened on a different day? Are you just reacting because of other things that have made things worse? If the answer is no, it would still upset you then you need to spell it out and he will probably, reluctantly appreciate your honesty- eventually.
Quite often his quirky behaviour, the things that attracted you to him in the first place, can become irritating once you are further into your relationship. If you are going to make it work, you might not like things, but you have to remember how that quirkiness made you feel initially and learn to re-love them.
It’s important that you keep the feeling of spontaneity and newness within the relationship. Too often people fall into the trap of settling into a routine and whilst it can be good to have a sense of normality and consistency, plan a few surprises, spoil each other from time to time and get out of the house and have quality time together.
If you can take these main tips on board, you should be able to keep the sense of love well and truly fuelled and stop any potential cracks ruining the foundation of your relationships. The most important thing is that you settle into the relationship and enjoy your time together.